How To Take A Beating While Pregnant- Trigger Warning

So, you are expecting! It is happy news, but you are not sure how to protect the baby inside you from it´s father. You might have even Googled this, but not much out there is helpful.

I have some experience, and thought it would only be practical to share it with you.

Of course the best thing to do is escape. The baby should not be born in an abusive environment, nor should your body be submitted to stress and abuse while you are pregnant. Because the baby can feel it, and can be born traumatized. Signs of trauma in newborn babies can be what looks like colic, separation anxiety, and waking screaming in the night.

Escape is not always possible, though, so here are some tips:

Cut your hair completely off before another assault occurs. He cannot pick you up and throw you by your hair if you have not got enough to hold onto.

Hide behind another adult. If you are lucky, your mother-in-law will care enough to shield your unborn baby from it´s father. I didn´t have one like that, so I hope you do.

Get into a corner. Put your back to the corner and sit on the floor. Pull your knees up as comfortably as you can to protect your abdomen. When he kicks your legs,  you will get spiderveins due to the increased bloodflow of pregnancy, but this will not hurt the baby. Try to protect your sides as best you can, and make sure that furniture near you is bolted into the wall so it cannot be turned over onto you.

Try to avoid being struck in the back of the head, the abdomen, and the kidneys. I know-you only have two hands, so take care of the abdomen first. This is why you are in the corner, so the back of you is inaccessible.

Try to keep your heart rate steady. I know it is difficult to do during panicky moments like this, but the baby is stressed when you are stressed. The quickest way to drop your heart rate is to take a short breath through your nose, hold it for a count of four, then exhale all your air and hold on empty for another count of four. Repeat.

If you sustain visible injuries from your beating and you are in the United States, check your state laws on assault and see if the charges are greater for beating a pregnant woman. In some states you could find yourself free and clear if he is prosecuted and sent to jail. If this is not his first offense then you are probably in luck. Get to an emergency room, if possible.

If your injuries are not visible then use your own judgement on whether to press charges or seek medical care.

And lastly, if he is beating you because you are trying to save money for things for the baby, just give it to him. The baby needs you and it´s own good health more than diapers. Diapers can be made from t-shirts, there are tutorials on YouTube and it does work.

Trauma in pregnancy changes the brain of the unborn baby. Children of trauma are often hyper, distracted, oppositional, easily frustrated, have trouble sleeping, and generally have a rough time functioning like other children. If there is any chance that you can leave, do it for the children if you won´t do it for yourself. Once you leave, go no contact with the abuser. 1-800-799-7233 | 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) The Domestic Violence Hotline has more information and can help you form an escape plan.

 

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Filed under ADHD, Bully, Bullying, Child Abuse, Child Psychology, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Violence, ODD, PTSD, SIngle Parenting, Trauma, Uncategorized

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