Today was a good day. I met another mother today, who has two special needs kids, like me. One, aggravated ADHD, the other Autistic and MD.
She homeschools. She uses the money she gets for supporting her disabled kids to supplement her own income and her husband manages the kids at home. I cannot imagine what that is like. I would love some arrangement like that, but I am not so sure it would work for my kids.
I liked her very much. She claimed she was overprotective, I am quoting, here. I was too shy to ask, overprotective how?
I asked if she did Special Olympics. She does not. I have the strongest urge to call her up and ask her if she wants to join my son´s social group. But I have this sneaking suspicion that by overprotective she really means it. That she does not take her kids out to do things with other kids.
This is the hard part of special needs parenting. My child might be more mobile than yours, your child might be better at academics than mine, but by goodness, we understand what it is like to have a kid meltdown in aisle 4 or be criticized by a teacher for their very disability. We just get each other, and there is no judgement. You meet all these fantastic people that you can learn from, and you see them maybe fifteen minutes a month. You see them maybe never, like the mom I met tonight.
We all need each other´s support so badly, and we have no time to give or receive it.
She said she had no life. I said I didn´t have one, either, and I don´t need it like that. She didn´t need it like that, either. We knew.
I feel like baking her cookies and inviting her over. The last time I did that it didn´t go so well, and it makes me nervous. I don´t know why my invitation was ignored. I want my kids to be successful and social creatures, and I would feel awful if I was getting in their way.