So, About the Children

Middle Child has  been in a bit of trouble at school. He has been goofing off, not focusing. He says he is bored. He might be. He gets in trouble in subjects that are harder for him, like math. He gets in trouble while waiting in lines.

I taught him all the tricks I could think of for waiting. Counting things. Tapping your hand on your leg. Tying your fingers together. Teaching your hand to do the Trekkie sign. Counting the number of letters in words on the wall. Thinking of other ways to spell things.

I have brought up math to him on a few different occasions. I want him to ask for help when he needs it. I don´t want him to give up in frustration and start goofing around. If he does not finish his math work he has to stay in from recess to do it. That is a serious threat for a busy kid like him, no wonder he is stressing about it. I offered to set up a secret signal between him and the teacher, so he could finish his work at home. He doesn´t want to. He says he will raise his hand.

He says that the tapping on his head when he is frustrated helps him to think. I am glad to hear that he is trying what we discuss. Cooperation makes it all easier.

My Oldest Child spent all day today in cooperative imaginative play with my Youngest Child. They somehow melded Minecraft and My Little Pony and acted it out with each other all day. This is my autistic child and my toddler! My autistic son spent his own toddler years incapable of imaginative play. He used to scream and throw fits if anyone he cared about told him they were being someone or something else. I think it upset his reality. He has come really far.

I am glad he found someone else to do this with, because he does it with Middle Child, too, and I was not sure if he could get along with anyone else on this sort of game. Usually Pokemon or Minecraft and occasionally Yu-Gi-Oh with his brother. It is good to see him being so flexible, today I know I heard him following rules and repeating lines that my willful little toddler had made up.

The Toddler has been in a bit of trouble, taking things from my room and then denying that she knew where they were, stealing zucchini muffins from the refrigerator at night, and throwing fits over not being able to have candy whenever she wants.

Her super short haircut is adorable on her, she looks like a pixie. I promised her I would grow my hair out with her and I went to my stylist and she told me I should not cut my hair shorter than chin length. I am not good at assertion. Perhaps I have mentioned that. This time my logic was that I should not force a stylist to do a cut they were reluctant to do, for certain it would come out bad if I did. She proceeded to give me a chin length bob and it wasn´t quite even- one side is longer than the other even in the back. But I like her, too much to say anything. My toddler says my hair is short enough, but I have half a mind to run to a Great Clips and have it cropped close. Because I meant to do that in the first place, and hair is not important. Looks are not important, and I don´t want to communicate anything else to my children.

This weekend we all went to the zoo. It was too cold for little kids to hike miles through outdoor exhibits, so we went and explored all the inside instead. This was their third time at the zoo, but their first inside. We saw everything we could and dropped a boatload of cash eating lunch and then we gave up the rest of our disposable income at the gift store. I have sworn off the zoo until spring, so we can get outside and away from anything for sale..

The kids are very excited to be having Thanksgiving this week, so that they can play video games instead of going to school.

Middle Child and I have started his gratitude training, because he has a horrible history of being ungrateful for gifts in large gatherings- probably due to nervousness, as he doesn´t really know anyone at the family Christmas party. But it is embarrassing to have him counting gifts or being ungrateful, so I have started giving him bags of dirt, or water, dolls, or an empty plastic plate so he can thank me appropriately. Then I explain to him how useful the gift really is, or who he can give it to later that would really appreciate it. Which has always made him feel better, because he likes to give more than receive.

I suppose we have started the Christmas countdown. I had better get shopping.


Filed under ADHD, ASD, Asperger's, Autism, Child Abuse, Child Psychology, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Violence, PTSD, SIngle Parenting, Trauma

3 responses to “So, About the Children

  1. “Gratitude Boot Camp” I love it!

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