I am not good at negotiating play dates. I prefer to have people come over. Call the day before, etc. I have a pretty open home, and a relaxed attitude. I don’t serve cocktails or maintain pretenses. I sweep the floor while you describe whatever it was that you fell in love with on Pinterest and the children play video games in the background. Or the kids climb over the snow pile visible from the kitchen window while I scrawl some recipe down for you.
I am not refined. If you are here, you are family. Have a cookie and a seat and tell me if you want juice or milk.
I had a good play date, my first invite to a home in the two years that I have been here, two weeks ago. She texted me on Wednesday, that she couldn’t believe it had been over a week, it was so fun, etc. I invited her over during that conversation, well, not her, the whole clan. You know what I mean. She ignored that part of the text string. Like I had never asked.
I was sad about it. But I was glad I asked. I must be getting over my anxiety about our past and maybe I am leaving some of the shame behind. I am tired of feeling tainted. It is not healthy.
The neighborhood children are fantastic in our new place. I know many of them from our daycare, and my favorite of those lives across from us. He is in our house pretty much every day. Today his mom came by and asked me to give him back sometime. She had been missing him. I like her, too.
Since the weather warmed up my daughter has been playing outside. Today she played outside without her brothers, in mud puddles and wet leaves and dirty snow. I had to fetch her when she defied the rules and went out of sight, but I was not very worried. I think my kids might have a chance to grow up more normal than myself, as I was always playing outside, but alone and completely unsupervised. I think they will always have a friend on hand, here, with a friendly eye observing from the kitchen window.
We have a play date for Sunday, even if I had no response for my Saturday attempt. A very old friend is bringing her boyfriend’s son all the way from the city to see us. We haven’t seen him since last year. I am so happy for them.