Middle Son And Moving

My poor middle child has burst into tears six times today and told me he wanted to die. He has not done that since he began his medicine, over a year ago. I am very sorry for him.

I think it is from moving. From seeing his things packed up, his schedule disrupted, and his mommy very busy. Today we did most of the house. Not much is left to pack. Everything we own is hidden inside brown boxes.

He is probably being triggered by the move. He remembers what happened when we moved before. We moved one day, and left the next when the violence escalated. We never went back.

I am sure he is afraid.

His nightmares come early and persistently now, it seems all night long.

I am going to spend some time talking to him tomorrow about his feelings and our moving. I am grateful that I got his consent and his approval before we moved. I am sure it would be a million times worse if he did not feel as though he wanted to move, as if I did not care how he felt.

I feel so sad for him.

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10 Comments

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10 responses to “Middle Son And Moving

  1. Love and Light to you both as you move.

  2. Big Hugs of support Sister. There’s no worse feeling in the world than to see and hear you baby say things….to know that they feel that way…you’re doing the very best you can do, that’s obvious as Hell; I admire you deeply. Hang in there.

  3. I’m so sorry for your little guy! Son has struggled with and still does struggle with anxiety. One of the things I devised that helped him I actually adapted from the AA concept of the attitude of gratitude. We called it “happylisting” or Son’s great 8 ( he was 8 at the time). Very simply every day he had to tell me 8 things he was happy about that happened that day. Some days were easier for him than others. I of course talked with him about other feelings too, but something about finding things to be thankful for helped to break up the worst of his doom and gloom spiraling. Prayers and positive thoughts for you and all the kids. I hope you find something that works to help you and your little one during this time of transition and as you settle in.

  4. Every time you share how you approach supporting your kids through these big, tough, grownup challenges, I feel such gratitude that they have you on their side. (I don’t mean for that to sound weird or patronizing, so I hope it doesn’t! I just have worked with too many kids, and know too many adults, whose own parents never had the skills to validate their children’s feelings. Which is critical, even when –especially when — the feelings persist in an outsized way.)

    Best wishes for you all, during this time of transition. May your son’s dreams calm, once you are unpacked in the new home.

    • No, not patronizing, I feel the same way about kids! I really want my kids to feel like they have me on their side, that I am interested in their interests and feelings. Growing up is not easy without an ally. I hope he calms in the new place, too. Today is play day. We have all committed to play and emotional support, per the house meeting this morning.

  5. I wish I had words of comfort or wisdom, but I’ll just send ❤ instead.

  6. I’m sorry. Love and hugs to you both. xx

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