Crazymaking Makes Me Crazy

My son falls asleep watching a movie, sleeps through dessert. He wakes up, I ask him if he is ready for dessert, how is he, etc. He does not reply. I ask again. Again, no reply.
I go about my busy business, cleaning and cooking and putting things away. He follows me around, calling me names, and stomping angrily. He talks about me, and spits. He calls me stupid as I put his clothes away.
When he starts beating on the floor I wrap him in a blanket and restrain him (we live in an upstairs apartment, and I can lose my lease if I get complaints). He screams and cries and when he agrees that he is done I let him up.
He screams that he wants his dessert.
I tell him to sit quietly at the table, and ask nicely for it. I remind him that I do not reward children with sweets who are behaving badly.
He sits at the table, and I tend to the things I have in the oven while he screams and cries, because I am waiting for him to be calm and quiet.
My pie has spilled over and burnt the bottom of the oven, from the stomping and beating on the floor.
I hate cleaning ovens. I told the children I had a lot of baking to do this weekend, we are going to functions and need to bring food and I want to get it all done for the coming week, as this past week we had no baked goods for them to eat after dinner. I have been wanting to bake all week, and never had the time. Last week I had nine appointments, after a full workweek, this week just five, and still not enough time to bake until tonight.
I got really mad, seeing the spilled food from the pie I am trying out for the first time. I got angry, with the spillage smoking up the house and making everything smell burnt. I wanted to cook this particular type of pie since last weekend.
I lost it. I told him he should be happy now that he has finally upset me, that I hate this sort of mess and he has no respect, stomping around like he did when I was cleaning and cooking for his benefit.
He is calm enough to ask for his dessert politely, and I give it to him.
He ate his dessert and went to bed and cried. He came to me after fifteen minutes or so and said he wanted to say sorry and I told him sorry is not enough. He needs to tell me what his problem was, to treat me like that when I am taking care of his Pokemon cards and his clothing and his food. He says he does not know.
I tell him to get to bed. I tell him to be quiet and let his siblings sleep, and when he complains that he did not have his gummy vitamins, I tell him we all missed a lot of things this evening due to his bad behaviour (we missed books! too loud!), he tells me to leave him alone.
I look at this pie and I feel sick. I don’t even want to open it up and try it.


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4 responses to “Crazymaking Makes Me Crazy

  1. Sending virtual hugs to you.
    Much love. x

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