Police Training


I taught my autistic child to put his hands up and say “I am autistic, I need an ambulance, please!” to the police so that he doesn’t get hurt or misunderstood by law enforcement. What did you teach your kids?

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Which of You Has Dementia?

My stepmother has been telling me for a year that my father is declining. He has become aggressive, argumentative, forgetful. She says. Every word out of his mouth she corrects, convinced he is being rude.

My father has never been diplomatic with me. I have always seen him as blunt and highly critical.

This past weekend I took my children to their house for fishing and lunch.

My daughter spent a lot of time playing with grandpa, getting tickled and squishing his face and laughing with him.

My stepmother sat and watched. She told me after a while that she was there because she watches my father around small children as he “gets accelerated”.

Later she tells me that he has become hyper aware of the female form, another neighbor has noticed it as well, and he keeps texting the association president (who is female). I ask her straight out then if she is worried about him being inappropriate with my daughter and she nods. I ask her if she has had any complaints of touching and she says no. She has had no complaints at all.

This is serious shit.

Now I don’t know which of them is losing it.


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Got referred to the neurologist today. After that I think all that is left is genetic testing.


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One Step

The latest regression for my autistic son has also hit his toileting. I have to put him on a schedule, something he has not needed since he was three. He had been pretty good at hiding it from me, I noticed he had a lot more laundry but I put it down to paranoia, because my kids will change their entire outfit if they get a drop of water on them.

He has been informed that I need to talk to his doctor about his lack of sensation/control. He does not want me to discuss it at his annual visit in front of his siblings, so I will be messaging the doctor tomorrow in advance of his scheduled appointment.

He has, however, regained some skill in bathing. I do have to make sure the tub does not overflow, because he cannot seem to tell when to turn off the water anymore, but he washed and dried himself yesterday after I managed his water level. His aversion to water is also lessening, he no longer assumes he has become blind when water touches his face, he can now open his eyes when his face is wet. So that is a huge improvement.

We are working on it.

I think I need to get him neurologically tested to rule out any physical cause for his regressions. Like seizures. Hopefully the doc will refer us.

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My Oldest Son

My autistic child has regressed so completely that his short term memory is shot. He is completely unable to sequence anymore. He opens the door, and does not shut it. He uses the bathroom, and does not flush. He takes a DVD out, and does not put it away. He also now just follows his impulses. He does not ask me for permissions. He takes off for the property next door without asking. He eats all the frozen juice without asking if all sixteen juice pops are for him.

This is how he used to be, as a kindergartner. He seems to have stopped thinking. Today I found myself going over basics of critical thinking with him, in a desperate attempt to get him to pause before taking any action so he can determine if he should take that action at all.

So there is no more tying shoes and no more bathing and no more of much anything. But he is drawing cartoons a tad better than before. Okay, I just found one of his drawings, so make that a lot better.

It is exhausting. I cannot get used to him as he is now when he as he was a few months ago is still fresh in my memory. I find myself getting frustrated with him multiple times a day for breaking rules he had known since he was five. I have to follow behind him, just to stop him from eating just before lunch is served, or from going out to the sandbox when it is bedtime, or from trying to skip rocks in a pie pan full of water.

If he stays like this he will never be able to live on his own. Six months ago I was leaning towards him being okay after I pass on, and now instead I am heartbroken from worrying about who will care for him and how he will do without me.

He cannot recognize anyone anymore, more than half our neighbors he has now mistaken for someone else. The school said there was no issue with faceblindness at his IEP in May. I don’t know if he is hiding it while there or if this is related to his regression.

I don’t see any sign of epilepsy yet- and I don’t know how to get him back to where he was before. I am so worried for him. I am always watching. I need another me, so that I don’t have to cook or clean or be in another room.


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Social Worker Closes Our File

Two years ago I contacted the county and requested that a social worker be assigned to my autistic son so that I had full access to available resources and representation at IEPs.

We had the same worker until a few months ago, when our old worker was replaced by the woman who used to be my DV advocate when I first got into town. Which was nice.

Yesterday the new social worker called me to say that after review with her supervisor the county has decided to drop me from her caseload because I don´t seem to need any help.

She suggested PACER instead, if I ever had problems with the schools.

So that is one less support.



Filed under ASD, Asperger's, Autism, Child Abuse, Child Psychology, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Violence, PTSD, SIngle Parenting, Uncategorized

Aggressive Autistics

¨There are medicines available for aggressive autistics,¨ the child psychologist says to me. ¨my favorite is Abilify. I will write that down for you, right here..¨

I don´t want my son to be that kind of autistic. I want him to be like me instead.

I never had a problem with his diagnosis before. But I don´t know if I can do this. I already have a son like this-minus the autism. Two is too much for me.

I don´t want it to be like this.



Filed under ASD, Asperger's, Autism, Bully, Bullying, Child Abuse, Child Psychology, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Violence, Medication, PTSD, SIngle Parenting, Trauma, Uncategorized